I had a childhood friend lose her battle with breast cancer today. She leaves behind a husband and a daughter and her mom,dad and brother and everyone else whose lives she touched. She had almost a five year battle with this horrible disease. Off and on she battled. Her daughter is about the same age as my middle one. 5. Five years old and she has never known her mom to be totally healthy. She has seen her mother in hospitals,sick from chemo and radiation and with no hair. But this was her mother. Apparently her daughter kissed her goodbye and went to school while her mother was home and on pain meds trying to ease her way.
I am so saddened that this horrible disease has taken someone I knew, someone who is my age with a young child. If you do nothing else for the rest of the day please consider making a donation in her name to the Susan G. Koman foundation so no other babies have to lose their mamas.This is Jamie's website where she recorded her journey www.lovingpink.com get your tissues. She is very honest and very funny.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
I started
I started running again. Just a little bit each time, but I am doing it. It's been about 3 weeks and I am feeling great. My knees feel good and when I am done, other than being hot pink in the face for 2 hours, I feel great. I am not having trouble breathing and everything is ticking along like it should. My new goal is to, by the end of April, be able to run a 5k in 32 minutes. I think I am pretty close.
I thought I would never run again because of my knees and the fear I had that running would just completely annihilate them. But one night I felt this urge to try. It spoke to me. I am beginning to think that it was my sanity with a cry for help. Last night I ran 2 miles,walked a half ran 2 more walked a half and felt like I might have 3 more in me. As my kids get older and Bobbys schedule gets crazier and crazier I need this. I need this like grass needs rain. It just feels good. I guess that is all that matters. I don't think I will be entering any races anytime soon. The physical therapist I had pretty much told me I would never run outside again without big consequences and I am okay with that. I might try running on the bike path because I heard it was a little more cushy than the street. Wish me luck! I feel good and my sanity is returning.
I thought I would never run again because of my knees and the fear I had that running would just completely annihilate them. But one night I felt this urge to try. It spoke to me. I am beginning to think that it was my sanity with a cry for help. Last night I ran 2 miles,walked a half ran 2 more walked a half and felt like I might have 3 more in me. As my kids get older and Bobbys schedule gets crazier and crazier I need this. I need this like grass needs rain. It just feels good. I guess that is all that matters. I don't think I will be entering any races anytime soon. The physical therapist I had pretty much told me I would never run outside again without big consequences and I am okay with that. I might try running on the bike path because I heard it was a little more cushy than the street. Wish me luck! I feel good and my sanity is returning.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
International Womans Day
Yesterday was International Women's Day and it got me to thinking, why do we need this day? Why is everyday not International Women's Day? As I started to read all the dialogs going on about this I kept thinking about it.Most of the blogs were about helping the women of Africa and other impoverished nations against all the atrocities happening to them. I totally agree. But why only one day a year are we bringing awareness to this? Why in the year 2011 are these things still happening to these women?
The other thing all the opinions I read on it were about how to empower women. I REALLY agree with this one. In fact if we all solve this one the other one might fall into place. I am all about women's power. I like to think that I stand up for all the sexist remarks I hear and never let anyone make one around me without knowing how ignorant and tacky they sound. Makes me sound like a feminist of the worst sort, but really aren't we all too far along in evolution and the times to still have these tired "jokes"? Women make up more than half of the worlds population. Which makes me wonder why we are still in the majority for anything?IF we all work together we can have anything we want in this world. Anything.
But instead I see the media playing us against each other.And we are falling for it. There are less women celebrating others accomplishments and more trying to stab each other in the back. Women are fiercely competitive always trying to be better, smarter,prettier, younger,thinner, and have (if you chose) the better partner. If you have any of these attributes then someone is always gunning for you. As a mom the competition increases in bad ways. Now moms are pitting their kids against each other. "My kid got his picture in the art contest. I saw your child's name was not on there, that's too bad." What are we teaching our kids by being like this? Are we teaching them that every individual is special? That every individual deserves recognition? No. We are teaching them that although they work hard that there is always someone out there that will be better and that is who we are going to celebrate.
I hate that this is the way people think.
I hate that the children are involved.
I hate that we as women are working against each other and not with or for each other.
When does it change? I know I am so proud of my friends for their accomplishments. And INCREDIBLY proud of my children for theirs. My perspective is this. Whatever your struggle, if you overcome it, you have my support. If your child accomplishes something that was difficult, great for them. I refuse to pit myself against someone else and I Definitely refuse to pit my kids against others.
I am not conceding this battle, but I am definitely going to change the rules.
The other thing all the opinions I read on it were about how to empower women. I REALLY agree with this one. In fact if we all solve this one the other one might fall into place. I am all about women's power. I like to think that I stand up for all the sexist remarks I hear and never let anyone make one around me without knowing how ignorant and tacky they sound. Makes me sound like a feminist of the worst sort, but really aren't we all too far along in evolution and the times to still have these tired "jokes"? Women make up more than half of the worlds population. Which makes me wonder why we are still in the majority for anything?IF we all work together we can have anything we want in this world. Anything.
But instead I see the media playing us against each other.And we are falling for it. There are less women celebrating others accomplishments and more trying to stab each other in the back. Women are fiercely competitive always trying to be better, smarter,prettier, younger,thinner, and have (if you chose) the better partner. If you have any of these attributes then someone is always gunning for you. As a mom the competition increases in bad ways. Now moms are pitting their kids against each other. "My kid got his picture in the art contest. I saw your child's name was not on there, that's too bad." What are we teaching our kids by being like this? Are we teaching them that every individual is special? That every individual deserves recognition? No. We are teaching them that although they work hard that there is always someone out there that will be better and that is who we are going to celebrate.
I hate that this is the way people think.
I hate that the children are involved.
I hate that we as women are working against each other and not with or for each other.
When does it change? I know I am so proud of my friends for their accomplishments. And INCREDIBLY proud of my children for theirs. My perspective is this. Whatever your struggle, if you overcome it, you have my support. If your child accomplishes something that was difficult, great for them. I refuse to pit myself against someone else and I Definitely refuse to pit my kids against others.
I am not conceding this battle, but I am definitely going to change the rules.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Education
I am going back to get my Masters degree because it is important for me to have in order to pursue a job once everyone is in school full time. I love that my kids see me doing this and I hope it teaches them one or two things.
1. That you are never too old to pursue your dreams.
2.And not to wait until you have 3 kids and a million other things going on to do it.
Pursueing this degree will be slow and tricky, if only from a scheduling stand point. What happens if my sitter gets sick, or a kid? What is going to happen when Bobby goes back to night shift and I have to pay the sitter more money bacause she is staying longer?I have to get an "A" to keep in the program. What happens if I bomb one class? Ahh the paranoia is closing in...
I will take it one day at a time as usual, but really...
The class I am taking now should just be called "my baby daddy is a screw up". I am floored everytime someone opens their mouth in that class. The teacher is very knowledgable about the subject but dresses and acts like she straight off the prison yard. Complete with Hand gestures. It is bizarre to watch her. Now she is making everyone do "presentations" on the chapters she assigned. She might chime in during the discussion part, which I wish she would more often, but the students are to ask questions about the section and discuss amongst themselves. Inevitably these discussions always become a therapy session for these 3 women who turn the discussion to.. babys daddys and how they have teenagers and how they are only 33 years old and how they got pregnant in high school. I am going to start charging a therapist fee. It is so much nicer when they are not there. Of course then I wonder what excuses they are giving the teacher that they are not there. Each class is so many points and if you aren't there for at least 80% of the classes you will drag down your grade by a letter. I hope this is the last class I have with them .
Other little tidbits of things I hear when it looks like I am not listening:
How the blond hair,blackrooted,cross-eyed lady who is pressing sexual harrassment charges against her sergeant. Really?
How there are only 5 males in the class. And only 2 of them speak up.
The teacher is a piece of work. She dresses ambigously.Talks abigously. But she brings us cookies.I don't eat them after everyone else touches them, but I think it is a nice gesture. And she also took away our 2 exams. Thank goodness because I am getting nothing from these "discussions" in class. There are no notes to be taken. The presentations are always fast and one girl I couldn't even understand. Too much teeth sucking.It is like I am in an alternate universe of higher learning. My OCD is twitching everytime I leave there with no conclusive answers or grades. This class will definitely ruin me for the future ones simply because it has low standards. I feel like I am being punked every Tuesday.
1. That you are never too old to pursue your dreams.
2.And not to wait until you have 3 kids and a million other things going on to do it.
Pursueing this degree will be slow and tricky, if only from a scheduling stand point. What happens if my sitter gets sick, or a kid? What is going to happen when Bobby goes back to night shift and I have to pay the sitter more money bacause she is staying longer?I have to get an "A" to keep in the program. What happens if I bomb one class? Ahh the paranoia is closing in...
I will take it one day at a time as usual, but really...
The class I am taking now should just be called "my baby daddy is a screw up". I am floored everytime someone opens their mouth in that class. The teacher is very knowledgable about the subject but dresses and acts like she straight off the prison yard. Complete with Hand gestures. It is bizarre to watch her. Now she is making everyone do "presentations" on the chapters she assigned. She might chime in during the discussion part, which I wish she would more often, but the students are to ask questions about the section and discuss amongst themselves. Inevitably these discussions always become a therapy session for these 3 women who turn the discussion to.. babys daddys and how they have teenagers and how they are only 33 years old and how they got pregnant in high school. I am going to start charging a therapist fee. It is so much nicer when they are not there. Of course then I wonder what excuses they are giving the teacher that they are not there. Each class is so many points and if you aren't there for at least 80% of the classes you will drag down your grade by a letter. I hope this is the last class I have with them .
Other little tidbits of things I hear when it looks like I am not listening:
How the blond hair,blackrooted,cross-eyed lady who is pressing sexual harrassment charges against her sergeant. Really?
How there are only 5 males in the class. And only 2 of them speak up.
The teacher is a piece of work. She dresses ambigously.Talks abigously. But she brings us cookies.I don't eat them after everyone else touches them, but I think it is a nice gesture. And she also took away our 2 exams. Thank goodness because I am getting nothing from these "discussions" in class. There are no notes to be taken. The presentations are always fast and one girl I couldn't even understand. Too much teeth sucking.It is like I am in an alternate universe of higher learning. My OCD is twitching everytime I leave there with no conclusive answers or grades. This class will definitely ruin me for the future ones simply because it has low standards. I feel like I am being punked every Tuesday.
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